When did you begin to feel alone? Was there a certain event that made you feel like you where alone, or was it gradually? I have had times in my life when I felt so completely alone. I remember one time, I was in school. I had a birthday party. I invited everyone in my class, about 20 kids. Two people showed up, and I think that's 'cause there parents made them. That was a great birthday.
I have had times in my life when I have had great friends, we just grow apart. Maybe we just don't spend enough time trying to stay connected with people. I encourage you all to post your story's too. I also encourage you to try and reconnect with an old friend. I actually just wrote to an old frined that I lost contact with. We'll see how it goes.
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I lost all of my friends when I moved away from my old city about a year and eight months ago. For the first couple of months, over the summer, it didn't bother me, and I was a bit glad not to have to attend birthday parties for semi-friends and such.
When school started it finally sunk in that I really had no friends anymore, and it felt quite odd. Sitting alone at lunch and not talking to anyone in class was quite a change for me.
Not socializing for so long seems to have crippled my social skills somehow. I can't hold a conversation with anyone. Well, I CAN, but it's always so forced. You can only talk about weather and math assignments for so long. I can't seem to take a relationship past the "casual small-talk" phase.
Your post actually just reminded me, a few months ago I found the mailing address of an old homeschool friend of mine. He will probably be creeped out when he gets a letter from me, HAHA, but it should be interesting.
Hi Joanna,
I know what you mean about your social skills being crippled. I feel like conversations I have are forced at times too. Right now I'm reading books on etiquette, I'm hoping they will help me improve my social grace. My family always says how well spoken I am. However, when I'm with other people I get so nervous I can hardly speak. It seems like everything I say sounds so dumb. In reality I'm sure it's not really that way, but maybe it is. Does it matter? The more I think about it not really. I have to learn how to carry a conversation on with people, so if I mess up a few times I think it's okay. Thanks for posting. Let me know how the letter to your friend goes. I'll keep you all updated on the letter to my friend to.
I had so called friends whom I partied with and when it came time to change my life because things were too out of hand, I sat alone in my apartment for a month and nobody called me anymore. Therefore, they were never my friends. Then I met the man I would later marry and we are each other's only friends. Now I cannot seem to connect with anyone. I have a few aquaintances, but no true emotional connections. A true friend is someone who would cry if I died. I did have one best friend that suddenly decided not to be my friend anymore and I was devasted. It was like breaking up with someone and I cried and then I got over it. My husband has no friends either, but it does not bother him like it does me, because he has 4 brothers he can talk to and he is very close to his parents, especially his mom. I , on the other hand, have no sisters and am not close to my brothers and I cannot seem to connect with my mom because she never really has anything to say after I go on and on talking to her. All she has for me is unsolicted advice. She was absolutely nowhere in my life until I had kids. My dad is emotionally disconnected. So that leaves me with my husband, and my 2 1/2 year old who cannot hold a conversation yet, and my 1 year old as my only friends. I feel bad for my kids because one day I think they will have to listen to all my problems and they have to go shopping with me all the time because I have nobody else to go with. My husband wont even go shopping with me. Everywhere I go I am alone or with 2 kids that cannot talk to me yet. I was a stay at home mom, but with no support system it became very lonely and isolating. Now I have had a job for 3 weeks and am back in the adult world. Everyone here already has groups they belong to. I eat lunch alone while they all go out together different places. Nobody has invited me to lunch yet. Today my boss asked me if maybe people don't like me because he always sees me sitting alone. He was joking, but I wonder if he even realizes how right on he is in making that statement.
Hi Jane,
This is a really good idea for a site as there seem to be so many lonely people out there - and I'm one of them. It's really surprising just how familiar all of the stories are. My story is similar to everyone elses. Growing up I didn't really have a problem making friends but when I hit my 20s everything fell appart, and I've never managed to put things back together again (I'm now 34). In my early 20s I had a group of girlfriends who really weren't very nice to me, but I stuck it out with them because I'd lost contact with most of my highschool friends. This group basically disentegrated due to cheating with boyfriends & backstabbing and eventually it was me and just one girl left. She went off and made new friends and for a while I hung around them too, but I always felt like an outsider. Eventually she got really nasty and I had no choice but to walk away from that friendship and since that time I haven't really made any new friends. Part of me wants to but part of me just wants to avoid the pain of it all. Sometimes I believe I'm so emotionally damaged and warped by years of being friendless that I'll never have another friend again. I believe everything happens for a reason and that there is a valuable lesson in this experience, but it sure is a painful one! The more I read of people's stories the more I realize the truth of the saying that no one will like you until you like yourself - it sounds so simple but in reality is the hardest thing in the world to achieve. Thanks again for creating this site.
J
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